Big Eden

John Lennon once said, “Life happens when you’re busy making other plans.”
And then he got shot.

When a friend asked me on New Year's Eve 2004 what my thoughts were for 2005, I said I was hopeful. I still am hopeful even though my hopes for 2005 didn't quite realise the way I thought they would or had hoped for.

Instead, I ended up floundering along the way. It took me the whole of 2005 to realise that I have spent a significant chunk of my time preparing for a life, a way of life which would never quite eventuate - at least not in the way I'd dreamed about and occasionally still permit myself to dream about. And that while being focused is not necessarily a bad thing, sometimes we can become so focused and hold so tightly onto the steering wheel of our lives that we lose our way altogether because we forget to look around us to see where we're actually going.

Sometimes we need to stop planning each of our every move and simply let those 'moves' happen instead of being in control all the time. So often, we think we are the ones who are writing the stories of our lives and we know exactly how the next chapter of our lives will turn out, but in reality, we don't control all of it.

Life can cease to hold any surprises left when we forget to notice the beautiful things that are happening around us. Nearly two-thirds of the way into 2005, a wise friend pointed out to me that I'd been so focused on getting to the end destination in my mind that I'd forgotten to see or enjoy the beauty of the present, in of which God's kingdom exists - right here right now and not in some far distant time. And he urged me to re-think and re-question the life script that I'd seemingly written for myself.

It took another film I watched in late November to knock more sense into me. In 'Big Eden', Grace, a long-time family friend of a successful artist called Henry living in New York admonishes him to re-think his decision to return to New York, after Henry spent a few months looking after his ailing grandfather in their hometown in country Montana. During these ensuing months prior to his grandfather's death, the townsfolk gradually embrace Henry and welcome him home and a couple of people also pour out their love onto Henry - one of them albeit subtlely in the form of cooking him meals since Henry can't cook - and yet Henry fails to see it all.

After his grandfather dies, Henry decides there is nothing left in the town to warrant him staying and so makes plans to return to New York, where he thinks he "belongs". It is here then that the shocked Grace admonishes Henry to reconsider and gives him a little advice that I believe rings true not only for me today but also tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. And I believe it rings true for many of us too. So, come on, hit me with 2006!

'Big Eden' (2000)

Henry - "I never intended to stay. I live in New York. I have a nice
apartment. I have friends. They have restaurants there."

Grace - "That's it? You want to eat in a restaurant?!"

Henry - "I've just gotta go."

Grace - "Henry, you know what they say when you get lost in the woods?
If you stay put, stay in one place and don’t wander, they’ll find you.
And I was just hoping you’ll let yourself be found this time...
But you keep wandering."