Come Live With Me

The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made.
The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.
The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desires of those who fear him
He hears their cry and saves them.
He upholds the cause of the oppressed, and gives food to the hungry.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.
The Lord delights in those who put their hope in his unfailing love.
Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.
Praise the Lord.

(From the book of Psalms chapters 145-147)

There is an online network of same-sex attracted Christians called the Gay Christian Network. Founded by an American guy called Justin Lee, I visit its message boards from time to time to check out the discussions, questions, debates (among other light-hearted stuff) posted on the website. The network caters to Christians from both ends of the Christian theological spectrum (and those in the middle or uncertain) on the issue of homosexuality.

I first stumbled across Justin Lee when I read a couple of his articles posted on the Internet about being Christian and gay in the late 1990s. This was before GCN came into existence. Justin envisaged and started the GCN network a few years later and it’s amazing how God has used the GCN network to touch the lives of so many people since then, including me. From a humble beginning, this online network for connecting same-sex Christians in the USA would eventually become a global network.

Last month, I saw a prayer request that had been posted on its boards on behalf of a guy living in Italy called Andrew. I’d only ever chatted once with Andrew in the chatroom. The prayer request was for Alfonso, a friend of Andrew's, who had recently joined GCN. Alfonso had been admitted to hospital. Not long after that prayer request was first posted, news trickled through that Alfonso had passed away.

At the GCN Conference in Seattle earlier this month, Ron Belgau, shared with the attendees the story behind Alfonso and the power of Christ quietly at work through his people in all situations, good and bad, in the lives of those who know him and even those who don’t. This is the story.

Excerpt taken from Ron Belgau’s keynote speech delivered at the GCN 2007 Conference in Seattle (4 – 7 January 2007)

In the last few months, we have seen a powerful example of Jesus Christ at work in the heart of our own GCN community.

Early this fall, Andrew, a GCN member who grew up in London but lives near Rome, received a call from a former coworker of his. Alfonso had recently been diagnosed with HIV, and was suicidal. He had no friends, no family, and no place to go.

Though Andrew and Alfonso had been coworkers, they had not been close. Nevertheless, Andrew said, “It doesn't matter what's happening, I'm here. Come. Live with me.”

Alfonso came.

At the airport, Andrew was shocked by what he saw. Alfonso had once been full of life, witty, talented. Now he was a wreck. His Armani suit hung on him like sack cloth. Andrew even thought of turning round and pretending he hadn’t seen Alfonso.

But he took him home, and introduced him to GCN. Alfonso had no connection with Christianity, had not even grown up with it. But he came here [to GCN], he began to get to know people.

Weeks passed, full of visits to the doctor, of tests in the hospital, and struggles to find the right medications. It was also a time of spiritual frustration. At one point, Andrew became discouraged, wondering if Alfonso would ever grow to understand God’s love.

Then, in late November, Alfonso announced on the boards, “I start pray and is true is make me feel better is first time I do this, but is help me.” His first prayer was very simple: “God, it’s me... Alfonso.”

A few days later, he posted pictures on GCN of some candles in a Church. “I was never light candel in church before,” he wrote, “so was first time. I was light 2 - one for Alma because she was light one for me in London and one for my friends on GCN. I was put card next to candel so God he no who was for.

While he was in the Church to pray, he met Giovanna, an 87-year-old Italian woman who prayed for him, and became his friend.

He also found Christian books in Italian, including Henri Nouwen’s 'Meditazione sul ritorno del figlio prodigo' - 'The Return of the Prodigal Son'.

Over the next few weeks, Alfonso became more and more involved in GCN. “I is investigate God,” he said.

He and Andrew booked reservations to come to London for the European version of the GCN conference.

Then, On December 17, Alma posted a prayer request. Alfonso was having chest pains, and Andrew had called an ambulance to take him to the hospital. On the way to the hospital, Alfonso suffered a massive heart attack.

During the night, Alfonso asked the hospital chaplain to baptize him. He was baptized, received the Eucharist, and last rites. At 5:30 in the morning, with Andrew and the Chaplain by his side, he died. He was 53 years old.

At the funeral, his new friend Giovanna sat in the front row with Andrew. Partway through the funeral, she turned to Andrew and said, “You know that’s not him in the box, he’s with God. Makes you proud to have known him, doesn’t it?”

In his sermon, 'The Weight of Glory', C. S. Lewis reminded his audience that, “It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbor. The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbor's glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken.

“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare.

“All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics.

“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilization—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit—immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.”

Alfonso was not a political issue. He was a person, poised on the brink of eternity.

Without Andrew’s willingness to take him in, and the friendships he formed on GCN, he would have plunged into eternity in despair, without faith in Christ.

I believe that God brought Alfonso to our community, and in the final weeks of his life he found the rest in his Creator that had been missing from all the restless years that had gone before.

Felice Epifania, Alfonso. Today you see more clearly than we do.

(Excerpt from Ron Belgau's speech at the GCN 2007 Conference.
For the transcript of his full speech, click here)